dreadful, just dreadful

i'm dreading my hair. i've wanted dreads for about three years. throughout those three long years, my thought process has been such:


wouldn't it be nice if i had dready hair? yes, it sure would be nice.


when i get old, i'll dread my hair. that way i have time to do everything else with it, like cut it short or grow it long or dye it pink or bleach it white.


hell, i'm gonna do it! i'm gonna get those dreads!


no way. i just can't. i'll miss my hair. i love my hair when it's long.


I HATE MY FREAKING HAIR! IT'S SO FREAKING ANNOYING. I JUST NEED THOSE FREAKING DREADS ALREADY. FRAK.


no i can't do it.




finally, after years of arguing with myself in my head [i do it a lot] i am ready. to be dready. ha! i had to ask myself, if i were stuck on an island by myself with no one judging me, no one expecting anything from me, no one to tell me ew why would you want dreads?! or oo dreads are soooo keewl you'll totally be a hippie do it! or anything in between, would i dread my hair? well probably, because dreads would be way easier to take care of if i were stuck on an island. but that's beside the point. yes i would! if i were to do the one thing that would make me completely happy and not worry about what anyone else thought, then yes, i would get dreads. i'm making it sound a lot more dramatic than it is, but bear with me.

also, i have developed this mentality that hair is just hair and it grows back... probably from one too many shitty hairstyling jobs. it's a good mentality to have. despite this, i actually really love my hair. i've been growing out my hair for as long as i've been contemplating dreading it, when i got it cut nearly to my chin about three years ago. it is now six inches from my elbow, which is not quite as long as i wanted it before i got dreads. [i wanted it long enough to kneel on, which is as long as it was before i got it cut three years ago. like, when i go to get something out from under my bed and then try to stand up and can't because i'm kneeling on my own hair. totally happened.] and i love it when it cooperates. but it rarely does. and it's thinned out a lot since i had the baby. and it really does get in the way. and river pulls it all the time. so it's time. i plan on having dreads for at least three years, hopefully five. possibly ten. who knows. however, i have also kept in mind that i may hate them [i don't plan on it, but how many decision do we make that we plan on hating right off the bat], and that i may want to chop them off in three months. am i willing to loose a good chunk of my hair if i cut them off? yes. will i cry either way? probably.

i better love them. it better be the best decision i've ever made in my entire life. just sayin'.

goodbye long, flowing, beautiful [cough], iconic old-whitney hair.
hello dreadies.